Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Why Can't It Be Halloween Once A Week

Have you ever wanted a holiday to go on for ever?

First of all let me say all holidays are wonderful and we all have our favorite one we just can’t wait to come and we love to share.
With that said I want to say that my favorite holiday is Halloween. It’s the one time of the year you can be anything you want and people don’t judge you or look at you like you’re a crazed idiot.

This past Halloween I had a ball. I started choosing what I wanted to be about six months before the holiday. I love the parties and the people that come to them. They tend to open themselves up to the make believe world and use their imaginations.

(All the blue is just comments of the ones in the pictures the story is in RED.)

(This year I decide to be a BLACK CAT) (Mewooooo)...LOL....

It was a lot of fun just getting the things together for the costume.
This year I had a few parties to go to so I had to have a costume that would hold out for a few wears.

Some of my friends had some really cool costumes and they worked very hard on them. They took some pride in what they were trying to show out.

(This is Sandi and me she played cupid but I think her arrows were broken...LOL...)

I can't begin to say how much I love this holiday. Growing up I couldn't wait for it to come. And as I got older it became a big part of family tredtions in our house. My kids grew up with a mom that really got into this and went all out.

I would start building the ”Hallowed Yard”. Things that I had collected over the years and new items that I picked up would all go to building the one night fright in our very own yard.

(Mark was the Wizard and John was the Jackass and me after a few drinks I think we were doing the bump.)

The last day of September I would be out in the yard walking around looking at the trees and anything else I could figure to hang things and then I would start.
“The Graveyard of Friends” Tombstones made from cardboard and Styrofoam, black and gray paint with what ever I could come up with to make them look old and worn. Placing them in away where they looked as if they were being pushed out from the earth and where once the colored lights were turned on there would be shadows cast. Moss hung from the trees long and marshy. Then the spider webbing would come out very heavy because by the time the big night came there would be bit’s and pieces stringing in the wind. It’s all the effects.

(This guy I have no ideal who he is but we all called him the Sheep Farmer Hill Billy. The picture says it all and it says what's on his mind also.)

Spiders, bats would be hung from the trees and from the corners of the house outside to dangle in the wind. The windows became a mass of spider webbing with different shapes and sizes of these eight legged guest. Over to the side of the graveyard there would be to large bird cages with large vultures perched inside as protecting the coffin that sat in the center of them. Large black and very shiny. The brass handles and carvings seemed old and unpolished. This was a project I took on one year that took me yes 41/2 months to complete. The boards and plywood, hinges and latches you name it I got to do this. I even fixed the inside with foam so it would be cushioned to who ever decided to take on the part of the Greatest Undead “ Dracula “.

All in all it took me all month to arrange this with people driving by everyday to see what was new to the yard. Now also we were registered with the Sheriffs Dept as a safe trick or treat place for the kids. That was the most fun and one of the best memories I have of that holiday. All that work for sometimes a month and a half was worth it all to see the faces of the kids. And hear them scream and then once they were at a safe distance hear them laugh.

Then after trick or treat would end all the kids that were my kids friends and had helped out with this yard of terror which sometimes be as many as 20 or more. They then would have there Halloween party and enjoy them selves to warm apple blood punch and hot coco and many types of finger sandwiches and other party goods. Too bad they grow up. Wow the power of memories.

(This is my buddy Kirt. He is a fellow bartender and yes he is a perv. He choose to be the flasher. Him and I have hung out alot. He's a real cool guy a bit on the strong headed side and he never knows what he wants either. I think he has been through 4 girl friends just in the month of Oct.)

(This is Ms Kathy she owen's the resturant / bar we hang out at sometimes. She was Little Bo Pep.)

Now there are no grave yards or spiders or even coffins. All the things I have collected over the years which would be a lot was gave to my Oldest Daughter for her to enjoy with my Grand Kids and teach them the meaning of Halloween which was sharing and laughing and enjoying the company of friends. And scaring the crap out of each other.

So now I do the adult thing. Parties and more parties. It's so much fun when you do it with friends that are open to having fun...........

(This is Brad he is a bartender also. And yes he is lost in the 60's. Not to mention everywhere else too...LOL...)

So in this blogg I wanted to share some of my pictures from this pass Halloween and I hope you enjoy them and even get a chuckle or two. I had a wild time and I guess I could say that I really did make it a Halloween to remember this past year. I must have wore that costume for at least five nights because of all the parties I attended. Some were big parties at the places I go and hang out with friends but some were simple and small parties that were more because of who was there sharing this holiday with me. But they all were wonderful and I had a great time there.

(This is the greekman Rich and me. He is always ready for a toga party.)

Now being that October is only 3 months away I am already planning something very special. I don’t think I will tend any parties this year as of yet. However if I do I have already selected my costume for it. I will have to see if what I am planning will run into the time of the parties. And the people I do hang out with well they will understand that I want to do this. And will more than likely be just as excited as I am about it. Hell there may even be a few that might want to tag along with me. {If they dare}

With being sick and evreything going on in my life right now I want this Halloween to last as long as I can make it. Never know where I will be next year....

That's why I ask the question. Why can't it be Halloween once aweek? Or at least once a month. I would just settle to have a three week party with my friends a do this holiday in like it should be done.

(This was Little Red Ridng Hood and her Bad Wolf. They just showed up with this costume and I really didn't get their names. Cool.)

To all my friends thank you for the wonderful memories. Thank you for you friendships. And thank you for sharing your laughter with me. I am looking forwards to sharing yet another wonderful Halloween with you all...............NO MATTER WHERE IT MAYBE..... (Hint The Day of The Dead)

(This is Regina she is the Jeannie in the bottle. Pretty cool she made it all her self too. Great costume girl)

(This is Scott he is another lost in the Great 60's.)

(Mr. Peterson and his great costume. He is a Breathalizer Machine. He say just blow in the tube. Yeah right...LOL...)

(Ms. Marg she was the Cowgirl. She sits at the bar side door to check I.D's. And she will rope your ass and put you to the ground in a second.)

(Gary and Kay or should I say Pirate and Wench. Great work guys looking real good.)

(Bo now he is the Oumpa Lumpa guy. He is a great little guy to he sings and makes sure everyones is having a great time. Wonder if Willie Wonka knows he escaped?)

(Everyone wants to be a priate this year and why? No imagation that's why. They see things on the movies and they go with it. Yes that means you Karl you never use your brain>>LOL<<)

(Chris was the monster and a pretty good one. However the Beatle Juice well lets say he is very annoying and he is a Jerk also. Yeah Mikie I said that about you. No brains either. Then there is my friend Lisa she spent all her time trying to improve Mikie's look and didn't have much time for her self. And my friend Stacy she just came as she was.)

(Abbi and Mark no not a couple just friends matter fact he could be her father. Mark worked on his costume for 2 months all made by hand except for the mask.)

(Now this is Cindy she is the
Wendy's hamburger girl cute. Love the ponytails. And yes me I think I had a few too many cause I was grabbing Jack Sparrow but the braids. Captain Jack Sparrow Dougie you done very well with your captain dressings.)

(The party started with this small group and it went on for three days. I wish I could have put every ones picture in here they all were great. I had a wonderful time with you all and I have some wonderful memories to hold on to. Wait till this year..........)

( Sandi and Me what better couple the Cupid and The Black Cat!!!!!! )
I will promise you this. THIS YEAR WILL BE OFF THE CHAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"PART TWO" Ever had a replay

I have returned with yet another part of the memories enjoy....

When I was a child I was more or less a loner I guess. I really didn’t hang out with the girls too much crap going on with them.
The baby dolls, dresses and playhouse stuff. The sitting at make believe tea talking of who was going to be who’s husband… lol…
I just never got into the whole thing. I played with the boys they were simple and easy to deal with. They didn’t want all that mushy crap.

Skipping school with fishing line and a hook rolled around a stick. I would hide it outside where no one would know where to look.
Pick it up and stick it in my pocket and walk to the bus stop. We would all stand around the four of us talking about where we would go for the day to fish.
I was what 11 or 12 yrs old at the time. These boys had been my friends ever since 1st grade.

We would see the bus coming and one would say I forgot something and the rest would follow. We would sneak off to my grandfathers barn and stand on the back side of it until the bus passed then off threw the pasture to the woods on the far side.

Then over to where they made fertilizer and to the railroad tracks. I would always be the one to feel the track for the vibration.
Some times I would place my ear close to they track to listen to it for up coming trains. Then we would cross Taylor Creek to the other side and to where the trees grow thick and the ground was wet. Best earthworms around. Long and fat just how the fish like them.
We always brought a small brown bag to put them in until we got under the tracks where our old coffee can was to put them into.
Sometimes I would go all by my self specially when things weren’t so happy at home.
There would be times when I would just run away I would call it. And just cross the tracks and sit there with my fishing line in the water waiting for the fish to bite.
And when the train would cross I would cover my ears and watch one car after another pass and at times I would sit there and dream of catching one of those cars to a train and riding for as long as it would go.

Take me away from all the stuff that was going on where something happier would be.
It’s funny how children dream and they never see the danger or and thing.

Yesterday I went down to the place where I went as a child. With it being Sunday there was no one around. I crossed threw the line of trees which for some reason now didn’t seem as thick like when I done this as a kid.
A cross the fertilizer place. Man the smell was as strong as it was when I went threw there years and years ago. The hills weren’t mountains as they were when I use to pass by them back then.

The closer I got to the track a familiar feeling came over me. The excitement of the tracks and what they meant to me as a child. And how warm they felt from the suns rays or how cold they felt at night under a full moon.
And yes to answer the question that is in the back of your head. Yes there were times when we had to hide from my stepfather. Most of the times my mother would grab the younger two and out she would go.
Me being the oldest around 9 or 10 I would take off my own way to hide until we got together to go out to my cousins house out on Mitchell Rd.
Yeah my stepfather was a very mean man when he drank. I’m not sure if I am ready to share those stories with the world yet.
Many bad, bad times.

So back to Sunday. As I was walking I could hear things like from the pass in my mind.
I could hear my best friends the guys that use to play hooky with me and fish..
I could almost hear the laughter and them calling to me asking me if I brought my lunch bag with my sandwich and what ever I could stash into the bag for lunch.
All of us use to brings something different but it had to be good also. If you brought something like tuna fish well it was bad. You were called a moron or what ever else was thought of.
Maybe even had to take a punch in the arm from the rest of the group.

But it wasn’t that bad we were together laughing and talking about every thing and any thing. The simple life I see now even though it was a very hard time of my life. So I smiled at my childhood ghost and I kind of asked them if they would like to join me in my walk as I continued making my way to the tracks.
There was grass poking out of the ground around them. In some places where they would bring the cars up for unloading to the plant.

And as I walked to the main tracks the rocks crunched and moved under my shoes. White grayish rocks with flicks in them.
They sparkled in the sun light. We use to say they were diamonds or some other stone that was going to make us rich back then.
I kind of smiled as the warmth from the rocks floated up with the smell of diesel.
The wooden trusses brought back memories of trying to walk on them without touching the rocks.
Well it wasn’t really walking for me I kind of hopped and skipped sort of. Always in a hurry to get to the other side so I could look further down the track. I stood there and looked at the tracks and a tear came to my eyes. So many years these tracks have laid here.
I wondered if there were other kids that would cross them to go fishing. More likely not because kids these days don’t know what it’s like to have to get out and discover things it’s all right there for them in there bedrooms or the den or where ever you have your video game set up. That’s there adventure.
So I kind of felt sad for the tracks. Thinking how long it must have been since they heard laughter and talking. And felt the skipping feet.
I knelt down and placed my right hand on the rail. The warmth ran threw my fingers and into my hand as I touched it. It felt like reaching out shaking a old friends hand.
I looked left and right then I lowered my head to where my ear was right over my hand so I could hear for the vibrations in the track. No humming it was silent so it was alright to stand up and proceed. It was as if my feet were walking the same path.

Stepping on the wooden trusses stepping one at a time. Watching my foot come down on one then the other.
I could smell the creek dried up some not like I remembered it being. The old musky smell.
I didn’t recall any smell back then. Unless it was an animal that may had been hit by the train and threw off to the side of the track.
And if that happened boy my friends would throw a fit. They knew if there were any dead animals that weren’t already rotten we had to properly bury them. Hey it was the right thing to do. But if they were way far gone where you could see the bones or you know disgusting to even kids.
Well we would pinch our nose with our fingers and breath threw our mouths and make fun of each other as we hurry away from the smell.

As I walked on the tracks crossing the bridge. Well it’s not a very big bridge but it is one …lol…
At least it’s not so big now I remembered it as longer. Crossing it I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and a excitement running in my veins.
Getting to the other side I looked left and right to see if you could see any trains far down the tracks. Nothing but those big poles that hold the lights for the trains to see.
The ones that go from red to green. But mostly they stay red. Walking over the rocks down towards the ground by the bridge I just took it all in and remembered when we use to climb down this way.
We were always on the look out for big grasshoppers or other bugs we could use to fish. And the big look out
Snakes. Yes there were snakes.
You know thinking about it man we were nuts and had no fear of anything back then. Danger was exciting to us if we even thought about it. We could have slipped and fell broke a leg or anything

Once on the ground I looked around and started walking towards the field of trees. There use to be cows all threw these fields but now the lay empty at least were I could see.
Walking towards the trees I found a place where they shaded the ground and I sat there for a while and just relaxed a bit.
That walk was very long and I was kind of breathing a little heavy now. I knew I had to rest before I took the trip back and over the tracks.

I must have sat there for an hours or more then I heard it. The whistle coming from the east end of the tracks. I sat up and there it came.
The Amtrak train. Heading north it may or may not stop up at the depot down the track a mile or so. It moved fast passing where I was and it’s whistle was very loud.
I just watched it as it passed by. Once it had passed by I stood up and started back to the tracks so I could cross the bridge to the other side.

As I crossed I thought once again of the old days and how simple they were and wished that I could go back to them and just stand on the outside and watch them play like an old movie.
Walking down the tracks I felt as if I was losing something that was important to me. I stood there for a moment and said to my self it was a good day I wish I could place it in a bottle and take home with me so when a time came and I needed that feeling once again I could open it up and feel it again.
I still sometime feel the urge as a child to jump in a box car and just ride it down the tracks. But that was a child’s dream to runaway on a train and find a place where there was happiness and no pain. A place that as an adult I know doesn’t exist any where but in my dreams

Well I have finished a whole bottle of wine now and it seems the rain has either slowed down to very soft drops or has stopped altogether now.
The music is now bring back thoughts and memories that hold a secret in my heart so I have to close and deal with them yet another time.
I hope these fond memories made you smile and it brought back a memory or two of your childhood times or another special memory you hold dear.
Thanks for reading…..


Monday, July 14, 2008

PART ONE "Just Thinking Some"

Well I have been away for a while. I am sorry I will try and write a little more if I can. So here goes just some thoughts I have been carrying around and some that have just popped in my brain.
It’s weird how you start writing something and before you know it there is something that takes over. That’s the power of writing. And on a day like this with the rain hitting the window pane what do you do any way. Pour your self a cocktail and put some music on and start writing. I hope the ones that do read this will enjoy it.
Maybe I can share some more. It may take 2 or 3 entries to get this all down. I’m not sure how long I will write today. I know as long as I feel like writing I will write.
But there will come a time when the pages will go blank and all that has been wrote will fade away and be just faint memories of what was once written and shared with ones that took the time to read and understand.

Well for all those who follow the horoscope thing like me …lol.. Well I know there are some that say that it is a big bowel of shit…

But have you ever thought that everyone has to have something to hold on to and put there believe and faith in? And yes I know not all things are worthy of faith. But we each have our own things we hold on to for some kind of hope even if it’s what some would call stupid. And something as simple as reading a stupid horoscope would make you laugh or smile and think wow that’s me.
Well let me say this read on. I read them everyday well almost everyday and I can say this one today has been the closest to me than any has ever been.
“MSN” Horoscope comes to my email along with yahoo and I think one more. I read them and compare them to each other. Some are the same but then there are parts that just blend.

Anyways today I was reading and this was so funny they all said the same. However if you really knew me for who I am you would say that this hit the head on the nail.

They all read as follows:
“You may be wondering whose shoulder you should cry on, Jen, when usually yours is the shoulder that everyone else likes to use. The collar of your shirt is probably soaking wet by now, thanks to all the tears that have spilled on you. Your compassion for others is definitely one of your biggest strength, but be aware of the fact that it can also be one of your biggest weaknesses.” Hold on there it is was too close…….

The people who really know me will say I am always there for everyone listening to them and never giving advice unless they ask then I only give my opinion and that’s about it.
I have held so many hands and yes wiped so many tears of others and gave that big quote “Things will get better and there is always tomorrow . And I am always the first one my friends always calls when something goes wrong no matter what time it is day or night. I am always there. Always…..
And sometimes only one question comes to my mind. Who will be there for me?

For the last few weeks I have been under the weather and I haven’t really talked about it to many people I know. I have just kind of been holding it inside not wanting to worry my family or my friends. It’s been a real emotional thing for me and at times I have felt as if I was all alone. Maybe the memories of the first time is sneaking back in reminding me of the times when I was all alone dealing with all these things and this illness.
Don’t get me wrong I have family my daughters and my sisters, a few what I would call good friends. But as I have always done, I feel that they are so busy within their own lives and what is going on in them that they don’t need to know what’s happening or what is worrying me.

I don’t like to lean on others too much. I don’t like to feel like I am burden to anyone. But mostly I have been the only one that I have depended on then and yes even now to a degree.
So I deal with these things trying to work them out in my head. I pull my self back away from people so they don’t see the weak side of me.

The truth is people have enough to worry about already they don’t need things added on to there own worries in life. I guess even in some ways I know there isn’t enough time for them to do for me in there bust life.
So I tend to write in my books. I have journals that go back I would say 10 years or so maybe more.

Feelings, dreams, fears everything that has crossed my brain has gone into these books.

All dated and in a box packed away in a safe place so wondering eyes could not read.

These are my thoughts my feelings and yes my life and they are private just for me.

And I try not to pull them out because some bring me back to a place where there life wasn’t so good and a lot of emotional pain lays in between the pages that are stained from the tears that hit them as I wrote.
They also have some wonderful times where I have laughed and been so happy too. But even those pulled out and pages read brings a tears to my eyes and a bit of pain to my heart because they were shared with special people that for some reason or another has passed or just isn‘t here any more.

Yes I am an emotional person more likely more than any one here has ran into more likely. I sense and feel things when I am around others specially when they are going threw something difficult or painful. I tend to shut off what ever is worrying or bothering me in my life and I offer a hand and a ear. With that said I just thought of something.
Just sharing a moment that happened some time back
I was visiting a friend and I was sitting out in front of my room there was this little bird hopping around looking for crumbs on the ground. Well me I went inside and got some crackers and broke them up and fed the little bird. I thought it was great to watch the little bird eating I felt great to just sit there and watch thinking if I had my camera I could get some great pictures.

Well he ate then he flew up and I thought he was off to another place. So I didn’t think of it again other than mentioning it over dinner that night I do believe but that was it. Well the next morning I left the hotel room to go around to the front to get coffee and half way around I looked down on the ground and there laying on the ground was the little bird. He was dead. I broke down like a little child crying and I felt so bad.
Here I had just gave him some crackers the evening before and now he was dead. Some people would say that it’s just life the way things happen. But for me it isn’t just life. Some how it has become a part of me. I have come to the conclusion that I am very acceptable to things the older I get the stronger it becomes.

And what frighten me is that what happens when it becomes so strong that I do have to become a person that withdraws to there selves away from others because it hurts to much to feel the world around them.
They sometimes become great writers because they write from the heart. And sometimes they become great painters because they see from their soul. I my self don’t even dare put my self into those categories.
And if I do make it to that place I don’t think I would ever see my self as a great person.
I just have a kind spirit and a caring and giving heart.

I never learned to say no. I always take on way more than I can carry but things some how work out for all the best reason because I never go into anything thinking what I was going to get out of it in the end.
I would give up everything to just see someone happy and safe. I was told once that I was a unique human. And even called a few other things also. I think someone called me a freak to once because I was so in tuned in what was happening at the time.
Maybe it’s because I worked as a trauma nurse before for like 12 yrs or so. I had so much empathy for others. But it wasn’t something I hadn’t had years before.

There will be more to read......

Friday, July 11, 2008

Thriving Ivory - Angels On the Moon (original version)

When you listen to this song. Don't hear the music. Hear the words. Let them touch your soul and take you away.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

So Sorry

Well first off let me say that I have been under the weather and not feeling very well. But I have been stressed out also. I am the type of person that when I start feeling not so good I tend to pull the hermit bug and I pull off away from others and just hide away.
I now have to make some decisions on some treatments that I have had years before and it is not something that I really want to do. So there maybe times when I can't get on here to visit with everyone.
So please be patient with me and I will answer when I can and also post when I can.
I enjoy visiting with you all and I love you blogs and all your comments.
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.
I have 2 doctor appointments coming up and will try to be back on soon.
I have wrote something and have stored it and as soon as I feel good enough to pull it put and tweak it up I will post it.
Thank you all for being my friend here I really enjoy your company.....

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Under the weather

Hello to all my blogg friends. I just stopped in to tell you all I have been under the weather and have been sick. I will try and get back on soon will fill you in on things then.
I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday