Saturday, May 31, 2008


This morning I was up at 4:45 am again.
The last 2 or 3 weeks I have been wide a wake at this time.
Now I know some of you are saying this isn’t that early.
Well I’m not getting to sleep until 1or 2 am so that’s what 3 ½ hours max.

Well I just can’t manage to get more sleep and I don’t take naps during the day either.
My day starts out and I am going all day doing something all the time.
So today I was meeting a friend of mine (new friend) to take him to go see some airboats.

Now he is a retired lawman (sounds kooky doesn’t it) and he has moved here in my home town and he’s 8 yrs older than me.
Well I met him like 3 or 4 months ago at the Tiki bar I go to with my friends.
He is a very nice man and very intelligent.
And I like talking with him because he is 1 of the few men I know that you can carry on a conversation with that doesn’t start off with one of those Tim the tool guy grunts …lol…
And he doesn’t talk at me or down to me.
It’s so very nice to be able to talk to a man …lol… Oh and on other big plus he listens to what you are saying.
Reminds me of my best friend.

Well I hadn’t seen him in a while and ran into him this past holiday weekend (yes at the Tiki) and we got to talking.
He wants to buy a AIRBOAT.
Well we made arrangements to go see some at my cousins house.
(He builds them on his spare time as a hobby.)

Well I was meeting him to go have lunch and then go out to see if they were what he wanted.

So I got in my car and started off down the road when I saw this little bird in the road.
Me as an animal lover I slowed down to give it time to fly away.
Well the little feller didn’t budge. So I slammed on the brakes put my car in park and get out to see why this fine feather friend didn’t fly away.
Walking up on him he just stood there. That’s when I realized he was just a baby.
He had feathers but not to where he could fly. I then figured he must have fell from the nest.

Now there are cats in my neighbor hood and I didn’t want to give them little buggers a free meal.
I here I was in the middle of the road chasing a little bird calling to him “ come here little baby let me save you”.
Well I can only imagine how I looked. It’s a good thin no one was out there watching me
I finally catch him and notice it’s a baby mockingbird. And yes that old movie did pop into my head.
“TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD” And I am a little superstitious.
I remember being told if you kill a mockingbird you will have bad luck. And I don’t need that besides I have a thing for helpless animals.
I found a baby squirrel once that feel out of the tree.
So little I just couldn’t let him lay there and die. So I saved him and drove him 12 miles or more out of town to this place called
ARONLD’S WILDLIFE REFUGE they take all the wild animals and either nursed them back to health or take care of them until they can be released back to the wild.
Very nice place they have. Well I took the squirrel out there so I knew they would take the baby bird.


Well I call them about this bird and Ms. Sue said yes bring him out.
So here I am driving down the road with this baby bird in one had and trying to get a hold of Scotty on my cell.
I told him what happen and I would be running late but I should be back up town about 45 minutes or so.
Now he is telling me “oh your such a good person for saving this bird it’s alright just call me when your on your way back in.”

Well on my drive out there he is chirping and I am telling him it’s going to be alright you know that sort of thing when all of a sudden this image pops in my mind of my best friend.
And a time when a bird I had fed the day before got killed. I cried about it when I saw it laying there dead.
He put his arms around me and told me it would be alright. He actually got tissue and wiped my tears away.
He has made a big impression on my life. And I am very lucky to have a close friend in him.

Well I get he bird out there and he is safe now so I can go about what I had to do. That’s me taking care of others always before my self.
Well I did meet up with Scotty and we did go look at the airboats and I think he is going to buy one in fact.
He poked fun at me for a little while then said I done my good deed for the week.

Well I don’t see it that way. When you are helping out an animal it’s not doing a good deed. It’s saving nature so you can enjoy it later on.

I know this really didn’t make much sense but I thought I would share it with you. Because my best friend isn’t here right now to share it with. I know he would smile and say something inspiring to me.
I really miss talking with him and laughing with him.
So here’s to all you animal lovers out there when you see a mockingbird fly by think of Harry (the baby bird).




Ok this is going to be a short today. At least for right now …lol…

I never know what and when the writer bug hit’s me …lol.. (YEAH RIGHT)
First let me say thank you to all the wonderful people that have stopped by here in my part of the world.

Thank you for all the wonderful comments you leave.

I don’t feel like a step child any more …lol…


I love all of your blogs they are great. I love reading them and I always can’t wait to stop in and read before I have to go to work or off to do what ever needs to be done.
You all have made me feel at home here in this BLOG WORLD …lol…
I don’t feel so alone any more. (I’m glad that I am not the only one that feels that way on some things.)


I have become addicted to this blogging thing. I find my self sitting for hours trying to work those pictures in the right place with the wording so it looks good.
(Which still never gets where I want them.)
So please bare with me until I get this thing down to a science. So tell me just how do you get those pictures to line up the way you want them.
I try so hard to line them up I always delete pictures that I load and let me tell you I do get frustrated with it some time.
(10, 9, 8, 7,) Sometimes the counting thing doesn’t work. I have even thought about mixing some (half a bottle …lol…) of Kahlua in my coffee.
Which I have joined there web site to get different ways to use this wonderful coffee liqueur taste :-p You who like there stuff should check it out….


Oh I guess I forgot to tell you I’m also a bartender. Yes I am one of those people that stands behind the bar and entertains you and your friends when you go out.
Here's to all those drinks that are exotic and taste so good.
The wonderful drinks that you see in movies or on your favorite tv shows. That you are just dying to try …lol…
Well that’s yet another thing to get into at another time.
And I can say I have had so much fun bartending.
It’s a great job.


Now back to the part I was saying before I so rudely interrupted my self.
(No haven’t had too much Kahlua Yet …lol…)
Ok back to it.
I find my self waking up at 2am in the morning with ideals on what to write next… WOW … the blog bug has bitten me really good.
(I really don’t sleep much at night any ways I have some health issues.)

I have always like to write but most the time I just write in my journal and keep it to my self or let a very good friend read it and get his opinion of it.
“Yes a guys point of view.”
But he is honest about the things I write and he is always telling me how well I write and how wonderful my hand writing is.

BLESS YOU my friend.
And thanks for the new addiction you have bestowed on me…lol…
But I really enjoy it and I guess it does keep me out of trouble for the most part.


But my friends now know that I am blogging and they kind of lets say are very careful around me.
They don’t want to be on the front page …lol.. I guess.
Well I do change there names and I even look for pictures to mask the ones that don’t want there lovely face on my page.

But it is fun and I enjoy it so much both reading and writing.
I just wanted to say thank you all and I am looking forwards to being apart of this BLOG WORLD FAMILY.
Thanks for welcoming me in and making me feel at home.
You are indeed a very special group of people and I am proud to be a part of your WORLD! !

Friday, May 30, 2008

The child inside


One day I will grow up I suppose. Maybe …lol…

Here I am a grandmother but not the white hair kind …lol..
(Hey only 46 now) and I still like to play in the rain. Crazy I know but it’s my inter little kid or what I call my inter child that I have maintained inside. She just doesn’t want to go where all our inter children go when we grow up.

I catch my self sometimes wanting to jump up and down on the bed.
(But only doing it from time to time.)

(NO NOT ME !!)

(IT'S FUN!!)


And when it rains WOW I love the rain. When it rains I love to play in the rain. Just to stand in it and feel it hit your head and run down over your face. I have danced and even splashed in the puddles. You know where they splash up.



It’s a kid thing but I bet if you can recall when you were a kid what it was like you would be saying “oh yes I remember that feeling“. That’s not the only thing either.
Remember the cans of silly string? They came in all colors. They can be fun also. I am always thinking of fun things to do or to even get into to laugh and have fun.
I had a boyfriend that always like to talk on the phone all the time when he got off work. It never failed someone would call while we were together and he would talk and talk and talk.

Well I had been in a dollar store and found some of this cans ( 20 or so cans).
Well we were sitting there talking and having a few drinks feeling pretty good and the phone rings. Well like a good girl I sat there while he was on the phone talking to his coworker sometimes I even go out side with my drink until he was done.


So this time I sat there and after about 15 minutes I start to feel my little kid start plundering around and then it happened.
I walked behind the chair he was sitting in where I had the bag of SILLY STRING at and picked up a can. Now I couldn’t see what my facial expression was but I bet it was one of “I wonder if I do this what would he do” or “he might get angry." But at the time I just shrugged my shoulders and said “oh well”.
So he proceeds to talk and here I am standing behind him and doing that little dance thinking while he keeps on talking. "Well then it was on."

I pushed the button and it came. The stream just shot out all over his head and down on his face and well let’s just say everywhere. I tried not to laugh but it just busted out. Needless to say he ended his phone call and then he looked at me and you could see it in his eyes “you will have to pay” …lol…
I grabbed into the bag and pulled out a few cans and started running around the room laughing and shouting at him. He pulled the cap off and we commenced to spraying can after can running back and fourth grabbing another can until they were all gone.

Then when they were all empty we just stood there looking at each other laughing still out of breath. Looking around the room well picture this. It looked as if there was a high school or collage party with 50 kids in the room …lol…


It was on the walls and the ceiling was covered were when you took aim it shot up and stuck. All over the table and chairs and yes even all over the bed. We just stood there and laughed at each other. It was all over us.

He just looked at me and shook his head and smiled. And like so many other times when I did something as a child would do he would shake his head and say the famous words.
“I never know what to expect from you”. Then he would put his arms around me kissed me and hugged me tight.

This night was so much fun and we laughed so much. I will say this when you laugh and I mean REALLY LAUGH from the deepest part from inside of you. You feel it. It’s a different laugh it lightens your soul and your heart.


So sometime when you are sitting there and have time on your hands. Which I know many of you don’t even know what is. But even if it’s just a few seconds think about it.

The little things you done as a child. Remember what the feeling was and hold on tight to that memory.


Then one day when your feeling a little mischievous then pull it.


(LAUGH) Invite you enter child back to you.

Have some fun but most important LAUGH ! ! ! ! !


(This is for all of us who still knows how to play

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The SPUR of the moment

Well it's one of those night's where I can't sleep again. So I sit up an channel surf. Well if you don't have the power pack channel's where you get a million channel's then it doesn't take much time to surf then

I'm not sure how many of you get restless out there but there are times I get very restless.

I can feel that restless hook sticking into me and it hasn't just yet pulled me in but it's getting very close. I am one of those people that really don't like to make a lot of plans. Of course I don't need to now since my kids have grown up and have taken a life of their own

No husband to clear things with just me. Sometimes that is great but then there are sometimes it's dull and boring. Of course this means there are a lot of time that you go places alone. And there are many times you eat alone also unless you have plenty of friends to call on.

The problem with this is 98% of my friends have jobs where they just can't leave on a SPUR of the moment. And then the ones that husband, kids what other obligations that stands in the way of just jumping into the car and just driving away ...LOL...

I on the other hand love to just take off and drive and clear my head and think of whats worrying me or making me feel down.

I love to drive different places. But I also like to drive to places that have wonderful meaning to me too.....
Specially one's that brings warm happy memories back to me and even though they may also bring a few tears of some sort of sadness the memories are wonderful and happy.
The tears are of lost wishes. "I wish it could have lasted longer". "I wish he was here with me now holding my hand in his". "I wish I could have told him one more time that I loved him before he drove away". "I wish I could feel his arms around me one more time". And one last but not least because I could sit here and list so many wishes that was lost but I truly think there would be no end to the list. So for now the finally one I will list is "I wish I could feel his body next to mine so I could feel him breath and his heart beating"......

Yes I am a very sentimental person all the way to the bone.

I collect memories as others would collect books or even picture's. I have a gift for storing them safe away and being able to pull them up to remember at certain times. All it takes is some song or seeing something. And even a smell. Sometimes it can be very painful to recall things because some are not always happy and those are the ones that hurts very much.
I know you have saw those people that are at the red light next to you alone in there vehicle talking with them selves or have a mysterious smile on their face just looking out there enjoying what ever it is they are recalling. Then their are the ones that sit next to you with the sadness you could feel by just looking at them. And if you just sit there and watch you could see that first tear drop slowly make it's journey over the cheek and down over the face. Well I have been there in that place before. Sitting at the light and going threw the same motions.

Well let me say this I have times when I have to just escape away from this place and either go to the ocean and sit and watch the waves roll in and release what ever is troubling me into the water as it traces it's path back to the ocean.

Or head over towards the west where there is a wonderful lake that I found when I was much younger and in high school. This wonderful lake has the weeping willow trees tick toeing in and out around the lake with other trees. But my favorite are the weeping willows. There is a bench on the north side of the lake close to the public library that has this wonderful willow so close that the weeping branches seem to flow down and touch your shoulder as if to say your not alone and " I'll stand next to and weep with you my friend." So when this time comes from the restless feeling I pack a bag with not much in it. My toothbrush, a favorite shirt that he gave to me and sometimes a pair of worn boxers that the elastic from the band has become UN-threaded and just a small part has let go and opened (also his). My book I write my thoughts in ( and now my laptop) and a camera to take pictures of what catches my eye.
It could be a bird or animal or an elderly couple walking hand in hand as if they are holding on to something so precious that they just can't let it slip away. Anything that triggers a special a part in my soul.

The other thing that is important to my journey is a quarter. Now this is not just any quarter it's a very special quarter. It's a 2005 quarter with KANSAS 1861 on it along with a Buffalo .
(My special coin)

Now you may wonder why this is such a special coin to me. First reason it was the first coin that I found heads up that I made a wish on. Second is on the front it has a E in black marker on the top and on the back it has a W also in black marker on the bottom just under this massive creature that once was all but instinct. So laugh if you wish but from that moment on every time I came a cross one of those coins or a penny heads up or even the nickle that carries the Buffalo on it's back I take it and close my eyes and make a wish rub it between my fingers and place it in a box with all the others.

So I take this special quarter and I flip it into the air as so many people do for that heads or tails flip. This determines if I will go east or west.

The last time I flipped this coin when the restless hook me. The coin was tossed into the air and turned many times and upon landing I closed my eyes and said silent to my self "East or West the one chosen will be seen in my eyes as beauty and will help release what makes me sad and leave my heart and soul lighter". I know it's kind of stupid maybe but I do what I need to. As each of us all we choose things in our lives to help us in the times when we just can't seem to shake that gloom. Beside never knock it or put something down until you try it. Just adjust it to what you need at the time.
So the last time I tossed that quarter it went through the air and as it turned and started down I closed my eyes and said my words and then I slowly opened them and saw W so I knew which direction I would travel.
Now from where I live this lake that is west of me that I love is about an hour to and hour and fourty five minutes away. Depending on the traffic and what time you go.

So I pack my goody bag with the stuff I might need. Sometimes I pack a little more just in case I decide to stay a little longer or just keep driving (who Knows right)
(HWY 60) (My friend Monk from the last story)

I call just one or two people usually one of those people I call in my best friend Monk. Because if I don't I'll sure hear about it somewhere down the road. Then I am off. Driving Thur traffic isn't that bad and I take my time and think as I go. I put the CD's that I have chose to listen in and just go. The closer I get to where I am going the one or two butterfly's will start flaring up but that's usually it.

Now when I turn off HWY 60 and head down on Florida Ave I feel some release. As I start getting closer into the downtown area you can see the large swan's they have made that are sited around the down town area. And let me tell you the are wonderful. With their colors and different designs. Each are different colored. Then comes the road I turn on and I can see it the lake. So beautiful and smooth as glass.

I drive slow around the lake to find a place to park. Hopefully under a large old grandfather tree that branches reach out to shade the walk way and road. Upon parking I get out and take my bag and camera and lets not to forget a loaf of bread or two. I always have to feed them. So my small bag with writing materials and camera on one shoulder and a plastic bad with no less than 2 loafs of bread I cross the small street and start up over to the lake.

(Lake Morton)
Most of the times I have been there I never park close to where I end up at. There is one place I always sit and it's over by the library under this wonderful whipping willow tree. The bench there is hard but if you take a pretty thick towel it will do so you rear doesn't get that numbing feeling after sitting a while. (Black & White and it is still lovely)

Then you sit every thing down and get comfortable and it's like they know what the bread bag sounds like. They start to come a few at first but then they start swimming across the lake and you have so many wanting to eat.

(Just looking)

(Coming for Dinner)

Out of all that are there from the ducks of many breads to the pellicans and even seagulls the favorite of mine are the swans. That's why I my self call it Swan Lake. But the real name is Lake Morton. The swans are so graceful as the swim threw the water. Like a feather in the wind floating softly as it glides to where it will take it's landing.

(Mommy and her babies)

There are white swans, black swans and even gray swans. The have fence cages that are high and locked where the nest are located and the eggs are laided. You can walk around certain times and see the eggs and the parents laying and moving around. But once the eggs hatch then there are these ugly little dowen feathered clumps moving around and in the water. It's so beautiful.

(This is just a few of the many Swan's with their babies at the lake)

I'll sit and watch them all and then it will bring back a memory and that's when I start writting.

(This is what I miss the most)

This is a very special place for me. And I have never really shared this with any one. At least any one but one special person. And this is a very special freind. So I hope if my special friend does reads this blog and see's this post will know that I have been thinking of you and I would like to tell you " life just isn't the same that your not around right now". So I guess the wishing coin a wish could be made and you know what the wish would be. And as I sit there on Swan Lake and remember when we walked around the lake and sat at the very bench under the willow tree I sit at now. You know who I wish was sitting there with me feeding the swans and ducks. You could take my hand in your's and hold it tight. Then look over at me an give me that wonderful smile you always give me.

(This was a beautiful picture)

I hope all is well with you. Hey I miss you and I hope where ever you are that if you find even if it's a few moments you find yourself having a thought of me and wondering about me. And just maybe you'll have a smile on your face and a warm thought as I do when I think of you.
(Sun Set Over Lake Morton)

If you are out here drive by and say hello to the swans. Sit at our bench and smile and make a wish. Think of me.