Thursday, May 8, 2008


So what is going on in your world tonight? Well in my part of the world nothing Not that I couldn't have something going on I just choose not to right now.

It's raining slightly and I can hear the drops on the window pane. And it keeps calling to me to come out and play like a childhood friend that would knock on your window and whisper where only you could hear.
It's funny how certain things that jogs your memory and pulls you back to a time that was happy or sad.

It's these memories that I have from time to time. Like I always say to a very special friend of mine. "Memories are all I have so I file them away until I need one of them then I pull them out". Good or bad they are mine and I carry them forever.

There are memories that makes me laugh and some that make me sad. But all in all they are mine and I cherish them dearly. But when all you have at the end is a sweet memory to give you peace then you hold on to them as if they were gold. I figure if I sat down and wrote out all my memories on paper they would fade away. So I hold them dearly and close to my heart.

Not everyone has a wonderful memory. Some people can't recall what they done last night. Not to mention what they did five years ago. I know it sounds weird and sometimes I feel weird. But a very special friend has been trying to convince me over the years that I am not weird just a very special person.
Seven out of ten people that you come across can not tell you what they had for dinner last night. Now either it wasn't that great of a meal or they fall into that group of selective or no memory recall.

When you are driving what do you think about? Do you listen to music? Most normal people listens to music to block out thoughts while they drive. However if you ask anyone that knows me they will say I am not normal. I listen to music while I drive and what ever memory it brings me I think of it and either I smile or I cry.

Memories like my first day at school and my very first teacher Ms. Green. She was this little lady that always had a smile on her face. She was always so kind to all the kids. She always wore those small flower print dresses and she wore red lipstick. She was my very first human friend in life. She was so kind to me the little ugly duckling from the other side of the railroad tracks. "She was a keeper".

Another keeper was my first boy friend. Fifth grade Mrs. Judge's class. His name was Jimmy Pickle "wow" what a name. He had one blue eye and one brown eye. And I guess that was what caught my attention. Yes I am and always have been a visual person. I notice things that most other people wouldn't notice. He was very sweet. Blonde hair that feathered back on the sides and hung down to his shoulders He gave me my first boy present. A ring one of those cheap dime store rings. Red, white, and blue and I think I still have it in a little box somewhere . He was my boy friend for two whole weeks and at that age it was a very long time. Then Wendy Maringelly came along then he was off with her. It really didn't matter because I was a tomboy then and I could have beat him up any ways. I wonder where he is now. Where ever he is I hope he is happy.
Yes I was a tomboy.... I hung-out with the boys because I couldn't be one of those prissy girl types. I didn't play with dolls or wear dresses and it didn't really matter because we were a poor family and either they were hand me downs or hand made. (That's why I don't wear hand made things now or wear other peoples cloths I did it to much when I was little).

I use to get up in the mornings and get ready like I was going to school and take my fishing hook and line and wrap it around a stick and put it in my back pocket. That's if I didn't have to hide it outside by the fence in a tin can. We would head out and hide our books in the bushes and sneak off down to the railroad track and cross the canal to the over side and fish all That was the very simple life.

Hero's there was only one hero in my life and it was my grandfather. He was 10ft from what I remember but at that age all the adult men seemed taller than what they really were. I use to sneak out the back screen door very early in the morning and cross the alley Thur his back yard full of chickens to his back screen door. I would try to sneak in and catch him off guard but it never failed he always heard me even though he wore a hearing aid in his right ear. There he would be standing making grill cheese and turning the fire off from under the teapot. Hot tea and grill cheese sandwiches they were the best. I would sit with this gentle giant and have breakfast with him then he would take me in his old car that smelled of oldness to the park where he would sit with some of the other old giants all wearing their cowboy hats and dipping their beechnut snuff with the spit tune at each end of the bench. Their conversations were of the weather and what they were planting next or about how the chicken eggs were be taken by a raccoon or some other Fremont .
He is now long gone passed and I was 12 yrs old when he left and never returned until I saw he in that dark brown coffin. I still think he visits from time to time and that's fine with me. He was and he is still my hero.

Now my most precious memory is of the birth of my two beautiful daughters and my wonderful grandchildren. To be able to give a life and hold it in your arms and the smell of baby still gives me chills and brings that mother urges still today. Being a mother this is something we never forget. The discomfort may fade away from our memories but the birth stays there forever. And as you watch them grow you protect them in every way and teach them to be up standing adults with morals and respect. It's not an easy job but it is well worth it when you see them graduate from school and go to collage and finally walk down the isle. Then the cycle repeats it's self. You know and if you don't well get ready you'll go through so many emotions. Just wait....

I guess what my whole point is that things we experience in life stays with us. Good or bad it's these picture's and the stories we hold deep and close to the heart. These are what we recall in our later days when we sit and think of our life. The pictures and material things can all be destroyed but our memories stays. And yes there may come a time when they may get clouded and mixed up as those that have the aging sickness we call altimeter's. But don't think for once there aren't still memories there. And even then mixed up and blurred they still have comfort to the one remembering them.

So remember those moments and hold them dear. And when you do think of them saver every second of that one that comes to you. Then place it back in that special safe place in your memory file. Because one day you will need it to bring you to a special place so you may enjoy it and smile or laugh and just maybe even cry.

I have so many of them maybe I will sit down and write a book. My friend is always telling me to write. He always tells me I write wonderful and he reads everything I do write over a few times. I don't know how wonderful I write but thank you my dear sweet friend. Maybe some of the memories I have shared with you will stick and draw wonderful memories for you to hold until one day when you need them. And maybe on that day when you get to a place where you need a special memory you can give me a call and I will help you open that file and pull out a wonderful memory that we can share a tear or laughter. Something very special like those crazy sayings I use to say that made you laugh from down deep in your soul. Like they hugged my neck and the "mimia" one. I know the full moon will always stay there close to the heart and when you look at it you will think of me and smile.

Again thank you so very much for being my best friend and for giving me some of the best memories to add to my file. For making me laugh and sharing your thoughts and words with me for holding me when I cry and wiping the tears from my face. But most of all for crying with me.

Oh just in case you were wondering who my first best friend was??? It was the man in the moon... And he still is.... Thanks for all those night's you have shined your moonbeams on me. Thanks for all the tears you have kissed. And thanks for listening to all my fears and dreams.



Anonymous said...

I love this piece. It made me think back to my grandma 'mae'. Gosh! I miss her. I know she is still around me all the time. So, this is to you grandma, "I Love You!".

Anonymous said...

always reading